helpless ..

Its about 2 am in the morning and we were texting the night away when suddenly i hear this load noise coming from a room nearby. It was clear to me that this was some live streaming from a tv news channel; we all are familiar with the tones they use these days. But it was beyond my expectation to find mumbai's taj hotel under siege for the last 3-4 hrs. Since the last 2 3 months were no different than this situtation, i don't know why but i didn't know how to react because like every other Indian, i knew the whole aftermath- it was clear that many innocent lives would be lost again, the NSG would be able to get hold of the whole situation, and then some of our brave soldiers would be lucky enough to receive special funeral ceremonies where some local politician would make a speech over how sorry he is about the whole incident and how he would like to show his gratitude by offering some monetary compensation to the families of those who lost their lives fighting the terrorists, the intelligence would find the roots in the neighborhood and then the government would extend false consolatory promises to the people; so it felt like i shouldn't be watching this because i as a simple citizen of this great nation, obviously couldn’t do anything about it and if i keep watching it, it'd be like monitoring the crucial events that took place so that the for the rest of day ahead, i am not left behind in the discussions to take place. I felt helpless. I couldn't see any hope. As usual, i was desperate for a solution, a campaign of some kind that could finally make these people understand that the common man of this country can't be their enemy. While all these feelings were making their way through my head, there was an intense search for the body responsible. As media was pointing out loopholes in the security cover of India, i was looking for a possible solution; may be a technology of some kind; may be there is a technology but we can't fund that; may be we can fund that but there's not enough left after these funds make their passage through the hands of administration; may be we can root out corruption from the administration and there at this very point, my algorithm terminates. I used to think as a child that may be this corruption thing was all about the past; may be it was only found in the age-group 35-60 where people have families to take care of at such low wages; the new generation would have 21st century brains so my age group won't give a second thought when it comes to serving our motherland. But here again, the case is hopeless as cleared by the 4 years i spent in college seeing junta sharing their concerns and careers and reading how proud the youth makes us feel by raping nuns and burning down churches in the name of hindutva; no matter how much we try to escape it, they manage to bring us shame at regular intervals by committing senseless acts. Every body has high hopes when they get to know about how much change they can bring to the lives of common people by working at some specific posts like a minister or an IAS officer but thanks to the constant failures of our current bureaucratic or government personnel, now i find zero faith here too. Why do I find myself so helpless; i know Gandhi said be the change you want to see in this world but Mr. Gandhi !, of what use this change is when its just about me; in the words of adam smith, we all know that the best result would come if everyone in the group does what's best for himself and the group; i can guarantee my full commitment but what about the rest of the people who don't give a damn, im sorry but i can't find this theory of yours very practical. Its rather juvenile of you to think that the people would actually take it seriously. As far as i've read about you, i know for sure this is not the country you dreamed about. Its all lies and lies and people find pride in doing it these days. There was a time when i used to sense a different air on 15th august. It gave us all immense pleasure to salute the tricolor like a proud Indian soldier but now i look at it and i see problems and problems alone. I do find myself responsible but i know that even if i'd change myself, its not gonna be of too much use to others. I feel like killing myself when i see a 5yr old begging for food in local trains. Rule out the education, there isn't even enough food Mr ! . I wish you were here Baapu; i know they listen to you and you would've peacefully convinced all of us to choose the right path. Of what use is the Harvard education when you can't do squat about the innocent killings in a country where you are the highest commander. Don't think i don't know that there are protocols to be followed but for how long Dude .. for how long you'd just practice your job description ?? The citizens of this country want some action. A Harvard degree for you but not even a simple primary education for thousands of rag pickers aged between 2 - 13 ..... that doesn't seem very appropriate ..Does it?