helpless ..

Its about 2 am in the morning and we were texting the night away when suddenly i hear this load noise coming from a room nearby. It was clear to me that this was some live streaming from a tv news channel; we all are familiar with the tones they use these days. But it was beyond my expectation to find mumbai's taj hotel under siege for the last 3-4 hrs. Since the last 2 3 months were no different than this situtation, i don't know why but i didn't know how to react because like every other Indian, i knew the whole aftermath- it was clear that many innocent lives would be lost again, the NSG would be able to get hold of the whole situation, and then some of our brave soldiers would be lucky enough to receive special funeral ceremonies where some local politician would make a speech over how sorry he is about the whole incident and how he would like to show his gratitude by offering some monetary compensation to the families of those who lost their lives fighting the terrorists, the intelligence would find the roots in the neighborhood and then the government would extend false consolatory promises to the people; so it felt like i shouldn't be watching this because i as a simple citizen of this great nation, obviously couldn’t do anything about it and if i keep watching it, it'd be like monitoring the crucial events that took place so that the for the rest of day ahead, i am not left behind in the discussions to take place. I felt helpless. I couldn't see any hope. As usual, i was desperate for a solution, a campaign of some kind that could finally make these people understand that the common man of this country can't be their enemy. While all these feelings were making their way through my head, there was an intense search for the body responsible. As media was pointing out loopholes in the security cover of India, i was looking for a possible solution; may be a technology of some kind; may be there is a technology but we can't fund that; may be we can fund that but there's not enough left after these funds make their passage through the hands of administration; may be we can root out corruption from the administration and there at this very point, my algorithm terminates. I used to think as a child that may be this corruption thing was all about the past; may be it was only found in the age-group 35-60 where people have families to take care of at such low wages; the new generation would have 21st century brains so my age group won't give a second thought when it comes to serving our motherland. But here again, the case is hopeless as cleared by the 4 years i spent in college seeing junta sharing their concerns and careers and reading how proud the youth makes us feel by raping nuns and burning down churches in the name of hindutva; no matter how much we try to escape it, they manage to bring us shame at regular intervals by committing senseless acts. Every body has high hopes when they get to know about how much change they can bring to the lives of common people by working at some specific posts like a minister or an IAS officer but thanks to the constant failures of our current bureaucratic or government personnel, now i find zero faith here too. Why do I find myself so helpless; i know Gandhi said be the change you want to see in this world but Mr. Gandhi !, of what use this change is when its just about me; in the words of adam smith, we all know that the best result would come if everyone in the group does what's best for himself and the group; i can guarantee my full commitment but what about the rest of the people who don't give a damn, im sorry but i can't find this theory of yours very practical. Its rather juvenile of you to think that the people would actually take it seriously. As far as i've read about you, i know for sure this is not the country you dreamed about. Its all lies and lies and people find pride in doing it these days. There was a time when i used to sense a different air on 15th august. It gave us all immense pleasure to salute the tricolor like a proud Indian soldier but now i look at it and i see problems and problems alone. I do find myself responsible but i know that even if i'd change myself, its not gonna be of too much use to others. I feel like killing myself when i see a 5yr old begging for food in local trains. Rule out the education, there isn't even enough food Mr ! . I wish you were here Baapu; i know they listen to you and you would've peacefully convinced all of us to choose the right path. Of what use is the Harvard education when you can't do squat about the innocent killings in a country where you are the highest commander. Don't think i don't know that there are protocols to be followed but for how long Dude .. for how long you'd just practice your job description ?? The citizens of this country want some action. A Harvard degree for you but not even a simple primary education for thousands of rag pickers aged between 2 - 13 ..... that doesn't seem very appropriate ..Does it?

 

its America Bayyyyyyybey !!!

so here we are, in supposedly the greatest country in the world, United States of America. My first meeting with its people was quite an embrace they received me with. At the immigration check point , the lady was asking me questions I have been hearing all this time in movies n stuff and you never know that somebody is gonna throw all of them at you at once. I mean it when I say "at once". She started asking them like a machine "Sir ! Due to the recent events that have caused damaged to this land, I'm afraid I have to ask you some routine questions. ". I said "Yeah sure, why not". She gave me a pretty strange gaze for that reply. Then she continued "Sir, have you been to US before".
I: "No".
She: "Sir !, Have you ever been involved in any such act that is unlawful against the constitution of any country".
Then she fired again: "Sir, are you carrying any weapons that can cause mass destruction or casualties"
I, pretty amazed at these replied: "Noooooww".
She, with a smile this time "Sir, is it your first time abroad"
I, with a relaxed face now: "Yeah" with a little blush on my cheeks.

Incidents like these are not rare with me as I presume myself to be rare in some natural ways that normally guys aren't so proud to be of. Each one of those who know me know it as well that this 6 feet 2 inch structure carries a set of a grey hair on his head. I try a lot to hide them by keeping them short, sometimes applying a hair color and the other times , by just wearing a winter cap no matter what weather it is.

So i was about to take a particular dish I love as my dessert and this catering lady standing right next to me looks at them(my grey hair) and develops a query in her mind. She ignores it after that but that was enough to give me an idea that my black truth(actually grey truth) has come to haunt me again. I am saying this because initially I just loved the way most Americans accepted me for what I am. I have made some good frnds here and none of them has ever pointed a finger at those unusually colored, unwanted parts of human body. But here this lady made me think of all that stuff that is very common in KGP. My favorite ones are:
"Buddhey ko jawani chha rahi hai"
"umar bachpan ki, baal pachpan k"
"budhau sale"
"dokar"
"dadaji"
"DADA"

So let's get back to the little conversation we are about to manipulate. So days went by and I knew that the day is not far off when she's gonna come with that same question again and make me feel uncomfortable. As i anticipated, the day arrived. After having an awesome sandwich with all the exotic layers in it, I stood up from my table and headed for that dessert section for my favorite dish "Baked Waffles". And while I was pouring the waffle solution into the machine, she approached me with the same problem of mechanics in a different frame of reference. She started:
she: "Hey dude !! have they always been like that or is it some side effect of too much sun or you just colored them that way ?
me: have what always been like what (as if i don't know what she's in mind :P)??"
she: "you know!! your grey hair .."
me: " :( yeah.. they have been like this for a while"
she: "you know you cud do smthing about that .. "
me: "oh really, and what miraculous thing that might be, ma'm! ??"
she: "i guess, put some dye on it or smthing..."
me: "wow , i had no idea they had these kinda things these days, so how do i apply it... do I take a shower first and then apply the color or do i just squeeze the paste all over my body.
She: "Don't talk stupid, you know what I'm saying"
me: "Who started ?"
She: "what ?"
me::"stupidity"
.


...more on this later... :P

Reflection Coefficient Is One

Hi Visitor !!
This post is totally inspired from and dedicated to a man, the news of whose existence never ever went through my hearing. What one could notice really well about this creature is the license he possesses to screw around with people. The presence of this man in the show which took my straight 4 and a half hours this morning after 8 was felt in every corner of the sets. Mtv sure has been casting one hell of a show for the last 5 years but because of my genuine hatred for almost every soap opera brought by so-called great channels of India, I never had enough curiosity to check out the youth spirit this program has been emitting. Although, there were always some snippets out there about the pain Roadies go through to survive in the show, I chose to ignore them because of two simple reasons. First is already up and the second major factor was the irregular access to cable network whether at home or institute. I suppose you are now fully aware of the name of the mammal I've been referring to all this time. Well !! .. no harm in mentioning it .....

Its RAGHU !!

the man with a weapon in his mouth, the man with a truth-mirror, the man with reflection coefficient value = 1 ( which means no matter what you throw upon him ... admirations , respect, frustration, trash talk .... what you get to observe in return is just another phenomenon of reflection or refraction both upto 100 %)

From the moment a wanna-be enters his room for an interview, he/she keeps encountering this unknown form of his attitude never noticed before. The way he makes fun of people without letting them know is just the kind me and my friends appreciate and encourage. In fact, we practice it very often on each other and sometimes on a total stranger too which again sometimes gets stinky and we all end up blaming each other for the damage that is caused. One thing that really makes me feel positive is the assurance that life in future could never get any worse and no matter how awful the conditions would be in my surroundings, I am more than sure that those circumstances would be found bowing to this graduation period. I sometime find life in IIT pretty interesting because of the challenges we face everyday in the from of mess-food, the hostel-living conditions and the messed-up acads who in turn from a tuple that tries to get the best of us very often but we, being dealing with all this shit for a long time, are finally hard as a stone.

I guess, an IITian as a Roady in daily round is what my eyes would always aspire for.